With the Philadelphia Live Arts & Fringe Festival in full effect, grant submission deadline season beginning and a slew of upcoming shows and films I’d like to see, I’m feeling a little whelmed with creative diarrhea, but in reality, I’m facing a horrible case of artistic constipation.

Having no outlet with which to display all of these ideas is frustrating. Normally I would just hash out some movement in the studio with some of the girls or write some bad poetry just to release some of the trapped art inside of me. But time has not been kind to me at all lately. I miss the days of being the early bird that gets the proverbial worm, now I’m plagued by assuming the form of a night owl with dark circles around my eyes.

I really have no right to complain – it is of my own doing, being married to work. I admit, I love money and all that it affords me, but part of me misses being the starving artist. There is something romantic and inspiring about destitution when art becomes your life force and your bread and butter is…well, you know. I have two great jobs that I kind of love but neither one is related to what I really want/need to do with my life. Alas, at least I don’t have a theatre degree, that would only make things more dubious and ironic.

Part of my issue with not doing what I do is that my stuff is getting better. I have had so much experience over the past 10 years and now I feel as though I should be reaching the height of my career, if not only to get closer to that plateau that is always getting further and further away from me. I see art sometimes (when I have the time) and some of it is so weird and inaccessible, it makes me wonder if the wrong people are getting the right money in this town. I can do so much better if only I had the resources.

I will be going to two Fringe shows, one of which has two of my favorite choreographers dancing in it: Kate Watson-Wallace and Devynn Emory. It is a piece called “more.” and I’m looking forward to seeing it although the description sounds like it is a little too avant-garde for my taste. I am also going to see “Urban Scuba” which has one of my favorite dancers, John Luna (swoon) in it. He is this crazy acrobatic monkey who can defy gravity and commits to all the work I’ve ever seen him do.

I’m sure those performances will engender a lot of inspiration and envy, it is yet another curse of the artist who loves art: unable to simply be entertained at a performance, always wondering how you could make it better or wishing that you would have thought of it first. I get that a lot when I see Kate’s work. The girl has style and while her work is complicated and uncanny, it’s pure rock n’ roll and I live for that.

I have been OBSESSED with Vogue Evolution from “America’s Best Dance Crew” for the past week and it has sparked and idea for a project that I have already started putting to paper. I’m looking for collaborators as to support the purpose of the piece and I hope that I will find a good marriage to make it a success because I really think this could be the piece that sets me off.

Vogue Evolution was “chopped” last week due to their lack to keep “America” on their side and their demise was spawned by the judges. While they were fit for the competition, in the end, they were too busy putting on a show to focus and concentrate on bringing clean, polished choreography to the mainstream stage, which I know they had in them but they stayed true to themselves.

I can’t stop thinking about how important their appearance on that show was. Like “American Bandstand” and “Soul Train” et al, “America’s Best Dance Crew” is one of those shows that exploits the culture of dance as it is today and the predecessors that inspired it. Unfortunately MTV isn’t what it used to be with less emphasis on music and more emphasis on lame reality television shows. My dream of being a music video director went down the toilet (also in part to the advent of youtube) because things just aren’t the way they used to be.

I do expect to have this project at least half way through the development and research phase by winter, and hopefully I’ll be ready to present at next year’s Fringe Festival. I really need to get back in the game, it’s eating me alive not putting my work out there.


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